Pushing the boundaries

Why do we push the boundaries ?

Children push to find the limit of a parents patience and love, but as adults ? whats that about ?

I am a terrible pusher, i push for attention, for action, for things to be different (particularly in relationships) - why ? all it succeeds in doing is pushing people away because they feel pressurised and nagged.  I seriously thought that i was the only person who did this as an adult until recently, indeed, i didn't realise i did it all until a couple of years ago.

"We magnify our problems by longing (and trying) to stop that change, to fix things in their places.  We attempt this externally through force, control and manipulation."

"The mind tends to lean in one direction or another because, out of ignorance, it sees something which it craves.  "I want that back," "I want that now," or "I don't want that anymore. Push it away, get rid of it,"

I am sorry to say that this is me - and i am at a loss as to what to do about it.  If a relationship changes i pull to drag it back to where it was, if I don't understand what is going on i nag to make things clearer for myself, if things are not perfect i want to change it NOW.  Its like i am the only one who can fix things and i want them so badly i will do anything to get them - force, control and manipulation.  The later one i am so well qualified in i could win golds in the Olympics. I don't really do it with bad intentions or to be a nightmare, i just want things the way i want them - my comfort zones.

I need to accept that i am not the centre of the universe i guess and i alone cannot do all i want to do.  If a relationship changes or falters its down to both people not just me and no matter how hard i push, pull or nag if the other person needs to change or pull away i do not have control over that.  Unfortunately, its a little like pushing against a brick wall and its a hard lesson, one i don't think i will ever learn.  The same goes for patience too, if a relationship or situation is going slowly patience is needed, nothing happens overnight - everything has a time and somethings are just quicker than others for reasons that are often out of our control.

I think this is were my main source of confusion and dissatisfaction comes from.  Although, I don't think of myself as controlling, more as a wanna be controller of what i want - selfish? oh yes, i think so.  Sorry.