Tuesday, 28 December 2010


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"Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not to stand back up. " Karate Kid 2010
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Dale Carnegie
I suffer from anti polar depression, i don't get high (unless its artificial !) i stay relatively stable and then with a blink of an eye i am totally at the bottom of a chasm where there is no light.  I rarely give warning as i rarely see it coming.  Often it only lasts a day or two as the routine of life carries me on weather i like it or not. Sometimes when life looks really unbearable i can have it for weeks, months or years.

Life goes on and a new year is around the corner, i have friends, family, my health, a home and many other things that i don't need but make my life a good place to be.

I am choosing to get back up today, i go to bed hoping i do wake up rather than the opposite.  I am going to try next year to find myself and centre myself, to locate my spirit and spend time on my physical too.  I will be turning 40 next year and life begins then so they say.  I am going to make sure it does, have focus and stillness, calmness and peace.  I shall find the force within me and use it to control my moods, my emotions and my depressive episodes.

I want to learn to love me again and love my life too, look for happiness within rather than in someone else.

There is hope, even at the bottom of the chasm and finding it makes me try to stand up tall and smile.

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