Me, my enemy and I

I am feeling good today, over excesses on the weekend seem not to have caused me too much suffering !!!!

I have kept busy, exercised and done most of my Christmas cards.  When the spirit moves me, i can move - it just doesn't happen that often. LOL !

I asked myself today why i find home such a confusing and complicated place.  Why at home i can dwell all too easily on the people and situations that cause me pain.  Yet the moment i get away and let my hair down all seems so much more straight forward and easy.  I guess its that change of 4 walls thing and the lack of responsibility that comes from not being at home.

I don't know if its possible to find that relaxed place at home, i find it very hard to not be stressed or chewed up inside over the silly things of every day life.  My mind wanders, it goes over imaginary conversations and situations with people that i will never have or it goes over real conversations and situations and shows me ways i should or could have handled it.  Either way, i feed my restlessness and stress levels without need more often than not.  Why do i torture myself so or fantasize about things that will never be ?  Because I'm human and because : I am my own worst enemy - are you yours ??

Are you craving being thinner when your not really fat ?  Are you craving the attention of the person down the road when you could be happy with who is at home ? Do you crave a new job but lack the imagination the make the best of the job your doing ? Are you desperate to stop smoking yet light another cigarette ?