Friday, 24 December 2010
I was alone and sad last night, i lay wake until after midnight angry and upset alternately over the way the day had turned out.
Today is a new day and today i have learnt a lesson.
I met in town this morning two very good friends. One told such stories of her life, friends and family that i could listen to all day. This lovely lady tells her stories in such a way that totally takes me out of my life and worries - she made me smile and lightened my spirit - i thank her loads for that.
The other friend and i didn't get to chat much but she gave me 2 gifts : one that is under my Christmas tree and one that is in my heart. She offered her friendship again, offered to be there with me in the tough times as well the up and told me i was worth believing in. This wonderful friend (i am honoured to say) of mine, said that i need just to reach out, if only a finger and she would be there - that is a gift i know was given sincerely and with love and it meant more than i could ever say for i know she will do just as she said.
Later another friend of mine called. I was surprised to hear from him but pleased all the same, we have a rather unusual relationship and yet there is a bond that will stand the tests of time i believe. I ended up showing him a range emotions as lots of feelings about the last week or two came out, especially yesterday. I attacked him in anger and blamed him for all sorts - he took it well !!! I cried and he just waited, i talked and he made a "passing resemblance of a man who cares" (in joke!). He then shared with me how he has been feeling recently - it seems this time of year can invoke some strange and unexpected emotions - and we had an honest exchange of conversation that cleared my mind and gave me comfort - i hope it did him too.
The father of my children came home not long after, he and i shared a take-a-way with our children and we all opened our cards to each other. We had a hug and set up the stockings (for Santa to fill) and the small table with milk, mince pie, carrot and a bowl of water (for Santa and his reindeer). As much as this man would love to be sharing the time of year with his girlfriend in America, we have promised each other to make this Christmas special for ourselves and our children.To put all else to one side for a few days and be a family, there is great security for me it that.
I have some good friends, i am lucky, and on this Christmas eve i count my blessings.