Saturday, 15 January 2011
I have been irregular with my posts the last few days, i haven't really known what to say. It has been put in writing that my husband and i, although married, are not members of the same household and i can claim benefits as a single person. It makes me sad. The wind is howling through through the gaps and spaces in the house and it seems to be all i can hear. The quietness of my life seems deafening, its really just me and my children now and its sobering.
I don't feel I'm depressed but i am subdued, quiet, insular and reluctant to go out. Not that there is anyone to go out with or to see anyway !
I feel quite calm and together though, even if working on auto pilot. I am planning a journal page based on my quiet place that i am going to start on very soon and have new ideas for card making that i also want to start soon. Life and time goes on.
I am lonely, i find Friday evenings the worst. My last boyfriend used to come up every Friday for the weekend with his son. Although i sometimes found it too noisy and intrusive i miss the company and someone to have a drink with or watch a film with, someone to be there in the night.
Anyway, dark days don't last forever and hopefully the spring with break in soon with some colour and warmth (yes the weather and time of year has a lot to do with my moods!) and then things with look better.