Sunday 2 January 2011

Flying

"I'm looking to the sky to save me, looking for a sign of life
Looking for something (to) help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking ‘cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly high
Make my way back home when I learn to

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own"

This is the chorus and bridge of a song that was shared with me at a time of great pain in a friends life, it came to mean a lot to us both.  The idea of learning to fly was a dream we shared and for a while we flew together.  As these things happen though, my friend grew strong and without the ties of family that i have he flew on without me.  In the end i, with wings clipped, watched him go ! He is still flying now.

I am unable to fly, or escape, with children and responsibilities i am tied.  I can't run away or hide either, and i can no longer try to live between the two !

I admit there have been times i have resented having babies and a home that stop me travelling, partying or hiding under the duvet for weeks at a time.  However, my children are my reason for being alive and why I'm still here, without them, several times i would not have stopped...............and with an addictive nature, who knows where i may have ended up!

I will have my time when the children grow up and they have learnt to fly, right now they need me to teach them and that is an important job. Then i will pass my motorbike test, buy a Harley Davidson and ride the world !!

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