I am afraid of lots of things : spiders, thunder, the dark, but then so are many others. I am also afraid of silence. Why ? I don't know.
I have become braver over the years and i no longer have to have a ticking clock in the bedroom at night, however, silence is a funny thing for when you turn that radio or TV off you think its quiet, but, have a power cut and you realise just how much noise an empty house really has.
Being a depressive I'm not too keen on being alone with my thoughts, they are generally of a pessimistic and negative nature, so I block them out with the TV or music (in a real episode that is impossible to do but thankfully they are rare these days).
I'm not so sure this blocking out thoughts with noise is a good thing. Maybe in my "saner" moments i should stop and look at my thoughts and fears, that could be the time to turn them around and see the more optimistic things in life. That way maybe the real bad times wont be so bad having laid a stronger more positive foundation.
Another lesson to try and learn I think, for its a lesson that could lead to the Buddhist awakening.
"....When we awaken, our fears and anxieties quite naturally vanish, as the night fades away at the rising of the sun" = MY AIM
